Let’s set aside pride and feeling pathetic for being the one that cares. I will only admit this once. After this, I will go back to not caring and faking the smile that has fooled everyone, even me. I’m waiting for the day when I wake up and I’m not praying to God that you miss me…want me…and that you’ll see the light and show up at my doorstep. To love you is the worst kind of prison. It’s unexplainable how badly I want to move on with my life. This deep longing for closure that I waited too long to even ask for. I’m trying so hard to let it be. But how do you let go of someone you have secretly loved for a year but could never admit to yourself until he was yours? The one you never thought you’d get and you did. The one who left you with a broken heart never felt before; the one who promised you the world and couldn’t follow through. These days I have been in love with you have been the darkest days of my life. To love someone who does not and will not love you back. My own personal circle in hell. Quite frankly, if I could I’d learn how to erase you. This sadness I feel was not worth one memory I had with you….to be so destroyed that when you look in the mirror you no longer recognize the person staring back. I’m waiting for the day God releases me and I am miraculously done being in love with you.